Cleaning My Room | Poetry

See I wonder if we actually realize
That our life is just like a musical reprise
It goes on and on, like a repetitive motion
So here’s to that, my narrative devotion

Just last week, I was cleaning my room
Removing everything with my cloth and vacuum
Papers, notes and books everywhere
And a lesson uncovered that I wanna share

University notes, loose sheets all were found
From every subject all over my ground
Physiology, Anatomy, New Testament Greek
Biochemistry, Pathology, my studying peak

Character sheets, my notes from DnD
And all of the characters that were played by me
Rawrkus Thunderstone and Billy Bittybundle
Markelhoff, printed repeats in a bundle

Bible studies and camp books too
Speaking of the Gospel, speaking words of truth
KYCK, Next Gen and MYC
CPC, CYA, a massive knowledge spree

Now see the connection that are between these three
Is that I used to think that they all were key
But their physical state now, says more than my words do
Forgotten on the floor was something I was used to

What was left over, what was covered in dust
Once valued but then my life chose to adjust
Chose to value new and different things
They all changed quick as my life did swing

But let me tell you something that didn’t change much
Timeless, unmoving something that never  budge
The Alpha, Omega and the Bread of Life
Savior and King, He’s my Lord Jesus Christ

See I was reminded, as I cleaned up my stuff
That things in life change, other things interrupt
You value it now but will you value it later
Just take a step back, see the things that are greater

See I was reminded, as I cleaned up my stuff
That things in life change, other things interrupt
You value it now but will you value it later
Just take a step back, see the things that are greater

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Story Time – My Christmas Day

I was really looking forward to Christmas this year. Going to church, hanging with my friends, singing Christmas carols, eating ridiculous amounts of food and all that jazz. However today was a bit different than what I had hoped. There was definitely things that made me happy today, but there were also things that made me sad.

On Christmas day today, my nose decided that it would like to be a waterfall. It started pouring out fast, and it doesn’t seem to stop. It’s running as if it were partaking in an Olympic 100m Sprint. My nose also likes making loud noises, blowing like a ship’s fog horn as it embraces tissue after tissue. Or perhaps scaring the children around me as I sneeze at volumes far too high for the prayer that’s happening in my beloved church halls. My nose like me, is a bit crazy, really loud, often annoying and has a great imagination.

You might say that I’m a little sad, perhaps even overly dramatic about my fever and cold that’s developing right now as I type this out however… But there were also some things today that made me happy, even if my nose controlled face wouldn’t allow that to show too well.

My church for Christmas Service also has lunch afterwards, however there was a problem… actually a few problems… I was meant to buy a ticket for lunch last week on Sunday but I aptly forgot and they aren’t selling them anymore today. Also today even if I was allowed to buy them, I actually didn’t have any cash on me to buy it with I also really wanted to have lunch earlier than everyone else, since my nose had forced me to leave my church service way before completion.

With these things in mind, I talked to the church lunch organizer and said… “Hey I’m a bit of a scrub and I forgot to buy a lunch ticket last Sunday…” to which she quickly replied, “No worries! You can buy one now!” to which I quickly notified her that I had no money, and almost instantly she said “All good! I buy for you!” To which I said “Can I also have it NOW?” and she was again, “No worries!” And just like that I got church lunch, with no ticket, with no money, and way earlier than everyone else. And of course just like every Asian, anything free makes me happy!

And as I went home with my plans of hanging out with friends, singing, playing music, eating ridiculous amounts of food all being canceled by my rather demanding nose it reminded me of something. It reminded me of the simple nature of gifts. That they’re undeserved. That they’re free. That they’re given irrespective of the relationship between the giver and the receiver.

I didn’t order and buy a lunch ticket when I was supposed to. So my lunch was undeserved. I didn’t pay a single thing because of my ignorance. So my lunch was free. I didn’t ask in a particularly nice or polite way. So the receiving of my lunch wasn’t based on me having a particularly special relationship with the lunch organizer. You might call this grace.

And this is the same with the Christmas story. Christmas celebrates Jesus’ birth into this world some 2000 years ago. That the real gift of Christmas is actually found in the person of Jesus. For the Bible talks of us as people who have chosen to reject God and therefore have sin which leads to the punishment of death. Jesus dies the death that we deserve and takes away our sin and so brings us back into right and perfect relationship with God.

Jesus brings us true peace between us and God for we were enemies of God.
Jesus brings us true family because in Jesus we are now God’s children.
Jesus brings us true satisfaction because His name is Emmanuel which means “God with us.”

And even more than that, the Christmas Story of Jesus is so wonderful because He is a gift. Jesus is not something that we deserved. Jesus is not something that I could have bought. Jesus did not die for me because I had a good relationship with God beforehand. The Christmas message of Jesus dying for us and dealing with our sins to bring us into right relationship with God is truly beautiful because it is grace.

So even though I’m at home now, with my nose getting bigger and bigger, my temperature going higher and higher, my thoughts getting more and more delirious, my stacks of tissues used piling bigger and bigger there is still good. It highlighted my own undeservingness of the simple gift of lunch at church and this reminded me of my total undeservingness of the greatest and best gift of Christmas. Jesus Christ Himself.

So however you’re feeling today, I hope you might remember the greatest gift that is in the person of Jesus. That He is the ‪#‎reasonfortheseason‬. That you might accept Jesus and rejoice that in Him you have “Emmanuel.” “God with us.”

“For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on His shoulders.
And He will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

Isaiah 9:6

Story Time – My Grey Bag

I have a grey bag. It’s stayed with me for a long time. Its a normal grey bag one that you might carry by your side or perhaps over your shoulder by it’s handles. You might not really think it’s that fancy or special at all; it doesn’t have wheels like the luggage bags you take through the airport, it doesn’t have a cool or stylish design, even the zips are sort of broken right now, however my grey bag reminded me of something important today.

Perhaps I should start by telling you a bit more about my grey bag, I got it when I was 16. It was the bag given to me by my parents as I was leaving home with the Department of Community Services. Inside I carried a few things. My clothes, my laptop, creams, medications and some important documents that I needed. It wasn’t much, but it was all I had. Now I don’t want to go too deeply into why I was leaving home or the events that had passed culminating into my departure for that would take too much time, I would like instead, to look at what happened after I left as I ventured out with my grey bag.

For the next 6 or so weeks I ended up couch hopping, to about 12 or so different homes. Some were my friends, some were of people I barely knew from school, some were old family friends, and some I didn’t know at all. My grey bag came with me the whole time. Now something that I remembered last night was how it felt carrying my bag. It was fine when I was staying at a place for a few days and while I was staying there I could leave my bag and it’s belongings there, but it was a bit harder when I was unsure of where I was staying that night.

If I didn’t know where I was staying that night, I would carry my bag. I still remember it dangling from my hand, one side of the bag weighing down more because it had my laptop and books. I still remember how it felt as I walked, that my arm swung just a little bit almost like an unbalanced pendulum feeling the contents within shift back and forth. It was actually a bit unsettling knowing that everything to my name that I owned was within this small grey bag. And even though it was everything that I had and was so important to me, my precious grey bag was so very heavy.

As I visited Centrelink I would carry my bag throughout the day and I remember it dragged my right arm down and every now and then I would switch to the other hand, until that hand got too tired and I switched back. Sometimes if my friend had called their parents that day to ask if I could stay over for the night they would help me carry it, or sometimes even better if their parents came to pick us up, I could put it in the boot so I wouldn’t have to carry it. I even remember once when I left a family friends house because they told me that they had called my parents and I would have to face them. I thought that I was going to sleep on the street that fateful night at 11 pm in Penshurst. I burst out in tears as I walked to the station, realizing that it was too far away and my strength was giving in that night. My grey bag was heavy.

However whenever I could stay at someone’s house for a couple of days and leave my bag there, even though it was a relief for me physically, it drained my mental and emotional state thinking about that bag. What if the house burned down? What if someone breaks in and steals my bag? What happens if I lose everything that I have? And sometimes even though it didn’t make sense, I would carry parts of the contents with me. Spare clothes in my backpack, sometimes my laptop with me, bearing the extra weight for a bit more extra security and assurance that even if everything was lost, I would still have some of it left. My grey bag was emotionally heavy for me.

I began to have many temporary homes. My friend’s place on the floor for a day, another friend’s house in the living room couch, the house of a family I don’t know for 3 days, a family friend’s house for 2 days. Wherever I could lay down my grey bag down became a temporary home. And along with having these homes came the feeling of safety, of security, of assurance, however… temporary. I knew that I couldn’t stay there forever, that they were only mometary, short-lived, temporary plans. It wasn’t really where I could stay forever, just until I got my life sorted out and had a place I could reliably call home. My grey bag was never fully unpacked. Taking out just what I needed for the night. A change of clothes, a squeeze of cream, a temporary laptop station, all quickly packed up as I moved onto my next home.

Long story short I eventually was able to find a place where I could rent out a room for rent that I could afford while still going to high school and finishing off my HSC. My grey bag was fully unpacked and it felt like home. The only times I used my grey bag later on was as I packed it lightly as I went off to camps. It still had that unbalanced feeling of its contents sliding around inside.

As I remembered my grey bag and it’s stories this morning it reminded me of something important. The world we live in right now is comfortable, for most of us, we’re blessed to have a roof over our heads, the feeling of security that we can continue to stay where we are without always having to move around, most of us also don’t have to drag a bag with all our belongings everywhere to temporary homes.

However something that I was reminded about was that this Earth we live on is only a temporary home. That uneasy feeling I felt as I wandered between different households is actually one I still feel with this world we live in. My grey bag is open with some things laid out here, but I know that I can’t stay so I keep the majority of my possessions inside. I’m just waiting for that place that I know I can really call home. Take out too much stuff out here and it’ll just take longer to pack in the morning.

The reality of the situation is that for those who trust in Jesus we can have full security and assurance in our future perfect eternal home. Heaven is a reality and although we might walk this temporary home called Earth we look forward to our eternal, lasting home in perfect relationship with Jesus. Don’t get too comfortable here.

“In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

John 14:2-3

Thanks so much for reading this super long post and I hope you’ve all enjoyed my little story about me and my grey bag. God bless y’all.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Matthew 6:19-21